And then they knocked on the door, thereby distracting me from the train of thought. I cringe all over - whom did it bring at such a time?
From the door came a pleasant male voice:
- Hello! My name is Alexy. Would you like to talk about God?
- Hello! And I did not order pizza!
I decided to laugh with this religious preacher. Let him go to his monastery and read his morality there. I didn’t smile at all to open the doors to a stranger, especially in the dark.
- Sorry, but if you do not open, your soul will forever burn in hell!
These words sounded like a threat. I did not expect from such a religious clerk such boldness!
“If you don’t leave now, I’ll call the police!” - that's what I answered him.
Silence fell behind the door. Did he believe it? I looked through the peephole to make sure and didn't find anyone there. Thank God he dumped!
I calmly went to my room to relax. Usually, when I'm not in the spirit - I do not masturbate, but this is another matter. Thoughts about Alla inflamed the imagination, and the impossibility of contact with her mammary glands forced my little don Huyan to stand at attention.
Fish and bezrybe and cancer, and now I'm digging in my tablet in search of saved photos of my sweetheart so that I can quietly turn off my imagination and direct all resources to the simulation of the situation in which I come out the winner, and Alla satisfies me.
In my fantasies, it is always like this: I am lounging in front of a plasma and watching “Games of dainties,” and she, like a beaten dog, puts herself on me. I tell her:
- Leave me alone, lured already. At the most interesting point.
But she does not let up and only doubles the pressure. Then I kick her in the gut. The good old portion of domestic violence works flawlessly. She gathers her thoughts for a minute and is already acting more tactfully. He tries not to distract my attention from the series, he works with one mouth, having removed from me preliminary melting.
Oh yeah! Such dreams come true for me.
And then again a knock at the door.
- Lured already! At the most interesting point! - I swear for importance, and I trudge to the entrance. I wait a minute, but the knock repeats.
- Who brought there is not easy. - I pretend to be a self-confident owner, such a goon in years.
- Hello, my name is Alexi, your entrance is connected to an Orthodox provider. Can we come in to stretch the cable?
Damn it! Same these fucking assemblers on an entrance rummage. Trying to brainwash me!
- You left an application to connect to "Radonezh - Holy."
- Wait a minute! You persecute! I did not leave any applications!
- But I have recorded ...
What can he have written down there?
“No, no,” I repeated. - it's some kind of mistake
- Sorry, but how can I contact you?
I burst into the peephole and found the very preacher that threatened the gene fiery.
- You can not, you got the wrong number.
- If this is a mistake, then give me at least an opportunity to improve. - he was extremely polite, literally begged for forgiveness.
- So how to contact you?
- Oleg. - I broke off. - You can call me Oleg.
- Can or can?
I just oherel with his arrogance. We had to besiege him:
- We have not drunk at brotherhood, it seems.
- I do not drink alcohol, especially during working hours. Only honey and in reasonable quantities.
“It doesn’t interest me ...” I was about to send him after father, when suddenly a second figure appeared from the darkness.
She separated from the first and appeared before me as it is. It was the real stallion Rocco, (not to be confused with Sifredi). He was wearing a fashionable jumpsuit, where you need to tucked, and where you need to be sutured. Thus, he emphasized all the charms of the man carrying him and focused on the merits.
Yeah, I would like to have such a body. But not in the sense in which you thought (blue), no. I just wish I would have the same shape, height, proportion. cubes in the end!
- The Internet is a delicate matter. - I said. - Drag your patch cord.
And, without hesitation, he opened the gate. The door was removed from the chain, and the lock is deactivated.
The workers of the mind and the hammer were already on the threshold. I stared in confusion at the toes of my shoes. In the sense that I was barefoot, and the shoes were a little distance away. I didn’t know what to say next, but Alexi quickly came to my aid, inviting everyone to drink tea together.
- Good idea, Alexi! Take a rest and go to the kitchen, I was just about to tea.
The guests went after me, I asked them to wash and sit down at the table.
- Alexy, what's your cute partner's name?
- Let him say it himself. Cyril tell him.
Cyril was embarrassed, but now I knew how to contact him.
- Oh, you know, Kirill, there is a huge selection of tea. What do you like? Fruit, black, green, with bergamot, fruit?
- It seems you already talked about fruit. - said Alexy.
- I think I am not asking you, and we did not drink brodersharf with you.
- I would not refuse from champagne. - Cyril cast his voice. - Crystal there or Russian, I confess anyway.
No sooner said than done! And here we are already tipping the wine glass after the wine glass straight down the pharynx to the bypass receptors in order to vomit more.
Then there was talk for politics, sport and religion. At the last, Alexei was bombed, and Kirill perked up noticeably. He openly slept on politics, swung a little on sports, and then crossed himself even.
- God - he is either there, or he is not immediately. - I argued with a smart look. Actually trallil. - That's how last summer ... I went out, looked at people and could not understand how they do not see and do not understand what I understood and saw. It seemed to me that if I spoke to them, I could immediately explain everything to them, and the same thing that happened to me would happen to them.
Alexy interrupted me rudely, gestured for me to shut up. I got into my work bag and in a second I got a thick book out of it. On the spine was: "Well Vibla."
- Are you always carrying her with you? - I was surprised.
- She is always with me. - answered Alexy. - Her Kirilli drags. He is strong with us. It works with scales.
- Do you have a holy one? - I faked.
- I repent. Sinner. But I had a revelation. I realized that I myself can not stop sinning.
- Pull down, pry mom? - I did not let up.
- In order to lead a righteous life, I needed Jesus. And then I began to evangelize.
- Pfff, evangelize. - I sighed in my voice. - That is, try not to inflame your imagination with my mother's milkings, but to fantasize about the wounds of Jesus from nine-inch nails and the whips of the Romans.
It seemed that Alexy did not hear me. He was in religious delirium.
- All this I understood somehow in a flash, as if it was already long ago in me and I just got access to all the information.
- continued Alexy. - I even began to experience it physically. It seemed that somewhere inside me a warm and so soft light came on and filled all the emptiness. I was very good. I bought the thickest Bible I found. So that it seemed even thicker, I enclosed in it sheets of notebook. Everyone envied me.
- And why are you doing this?
- And the fact that God - he is one. God is love.
- Honestly? Are not you lying?
- About such things to lie - blasphemy!
- Love you say?
- Jesus love you!
- Is Jesus also a god or only by 50%?
- Jesus is the son of God.
- Yes, yes, I heard something about him. He is quite popular in our area Pers.
- Do not remember the name of Gd in sue.
My tactic was as follows: finish this preacher before he brainwashed me. And the funny thing is that she worked, this tactic, and Alexy became more and more confused and lost.
“So who was he, this Jesus?” Sorcerer or potnik? - I continued my victorious tactics.
- Fool! He is a carpenter.
- A carpenter? An ordinary carpenter?
- Not just a carpenter!
- Master rafts and fused them?
- Jesus is a martyr. For you suffered by the way!
- Did I really ask him?
- Godless, he is for all of us. From altruistic considerations, and you are selfish!
- I do not see anything wrong with that. A pragmatic approach is only good for me. - With these words, I pushed the sugar bowl away from Alexy. “You think I only care about personal gain to the detriment of others?”
- I don't think I see.
No, well, he goes too far! I see such words as a veiled transition to personalities.
- You let us into your home and do not respect the guests.
- Did you come to repair the Internet or drive teas?
- You asked a question, but completely deaf to our speeches!
- So destined to fold our naked swords! - I answered in rhyme.
Alex came close to me, it was evident that the wine gave him a head. For a moment I thought he was about to kiss me. But it was not there! Looks like he was shy of his partner Cyril.
- What are you, Lech, zassal cross, say so!
I decided to squeeze this gossip until they squeezed me.
But instead of an easy victory over the weak spirit of the opponent, Kirill's torso has grown in front of me.
- What do you want?
- You lured the coast. Sorry - snarled the installer. - In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, I ask for good!
Cyril was approaching me inevitably, like a huge cross was dragging.
- Your soul is as black as night, it asks for salvation.
“Your mother is praying when I ...” I decided to slow down, because Cyril's eyes had already come out of the orbits and were filled with blood.
- Where is your creed? I do not see!! He roared.
Heck! I completely forgot to put on my cross. Thank God that at least I haven’t removed the Pwer Balance bracelet from my stock. I hope that in Makhach he will give me strength. Cyril saw the bracelet immediately stood still and lowered his hands. In his eyes flashed curiosity.
- How much did you charge? He asked me.
- What? - I did not dull.
He repeated the question and nodded to his wrist.
- Oh, that. Father’s engagement gift. - I pulled RoverValense from my hand. - If you want - take it! - and handed it to Cyril.
Judging by the form, the heart of the handsome Atlanta melted away and now I could behave as before, that is, I could lash out and defy Cyril and his god, which I did not use to take advantage. And in vain !! Because the next moment I received a Talmud on the forehead! And it was not Kirill who fucked me, but the verbose Alexy, whom I fucked up a duck-up, apparently.
And only now I finally understood what this preacher meant. Jesus is alive! He resurrected in another supernatural spiritual body and therefore did not die. I was born sinful because of original sin, when a father bummed out his noodles into the mother's pussy and now, so that God could forgive my sins (sins of the fathers), punishment was needed, and Jesus was punished instead of me. He died for my sins, and God the Father resurrected him, thereby giving me eternal life with Jesus, and if I believe in Jesus and repent of my sins, I will go to paradise after death, where we will be with the boys all together with impunity gouge in a bunch. Uraaa !!! But for now you need to hold on, endure and restrain your desires.
... When the assemblers were going, I noticed Isi Butsy's eyes on Cyril's corner.
- How much did you charge? - I asked him.
- What? He asked.
I repeated the question and nodded at the feet.
- Oh, that. A gift for a barmitsva from the Father.
My imagination drew a lively picture: he changes his worn out sandals in a kosher shoe, and the consulting girl carefully selects a new pair for his foot. In slow motion, she removes the sock from his strained leg, the Father looks at it without opening his eyes. The consultant takes the thumb in his mouth and begins to suck on him with his full lips, not forgetting to work with the tongue. The father does not know where to go and while no one is looking, he pulls out his bar and squeezes it at the bottom ...
- So we go or what? - asked installers, once again distracting me from imaginary porn.
I grunted and led the preachers to the exit.
- Well, with God! - and we fucked at the last, and they went.
While the guests were moving away into the darkness of the staircase, I watched closely how the fit buttock of the assembler Cyril walked under the denim overalls. Trying not to miss this opportunity, I imperceptibly pulled out my tele-ai-background and turned on the recording. I don’t have to rely on my own memory, so I always rely on the wonderful products of the company Arrléf Sood. Still never failed and divine prices.