I work for the VGTR Region Tyumen, the largest and oldest television station in our region, though it’s not enough that changes at all when Max, this is my husband, during the period of perestroika, started working there, how he cursed and lost his temper in trifles, around retirees or besides, they no longer need anything, grumble their news, slurp their lips pretending that this is at least as interesting to someone, they were wrong. With difficulty, Max and his guys, only that the institutes achieved their transfer and went and went, eventually displaced the old people, it became more fun, but Director Omelchuk both sat and sat in his place, full of horror and still manages every day we keep our own programs, we showed him ratings reports that during the period when it was on the air, and this is the peak, the audience almost goes to zero, but we didn’t manage to move it, it's a shame, but so much interesting the city.
I looked at the clock, another hour and a half, what to do, I was not used to sitting, as I get up all day, only my legs are buzzing in the evening and my head staggers on my shoulders and I want to lean and fall asleep, although otherwise I’ve been running, I thought about it many times I did not find an answer and keep up the good work, sometimes it seems useless work. I looked around, the young artists settled in the shade and painted the park, so happy, they understand and feel the time and pleasure from their work, but I already forgot what a thrill in my heart is when you interview, stutter, remember questions, and then you mount and feel a smile when your material is on the air, but now it has become a chore.
She came closer to look at the works of artists, they didn’t even pay attention to me, they were so absorbed in their work that even if it started to rain, they hardly moved, and he did it beautifully, colored crayons, went to elementary school for several years In hudozhku, but after threw and completely went into the sport. Memories flooded back as I ran home from school
I also liked the gymnastics very much, I received diplomas, I even took three times the regional competitions, went to the training camps, it was a fun time, but after school I gave up everything, I didn’t have amazing results, but I still love sports and I run in the mornings, I still go to the gym, you feel how the back muscles tense, fingers squeeze the simulator's steering wheel, the press pulls in the abdomen, the eternal struggle with it, the calves of muscles lift you, it is an indescribable feeling of delight in breathing, in lightness the whole body is so great Just a little help our body, as most do not understand. I am slender, beautiful, at least that's what they say to me, a brunette, short haircut, you can say to a boy or a boy who, like, although I am under thirty-seven years old, there is so much horror.
She came closer to consider the drawing of that very young artist, the colors are strange, pastel, I looked at what he was painting, but there wasn’t nearly the same color that he had, but that was great in his work, not like everyone else. He has his own amazing look, and as he clearly imposes strokes, the hand still flashes and it seems that he doesn’t look at what he draws at all, but just draws everything.
“Beautiful,” I said.
He didn’t even pay attention to my words, and maybe he didn’t hear everything in work, but I didn’t move away, but was literally fascinated by his work, as it turned into something fabulous. It seemed that an elf would appear on his caliber in his drawing and they would disappear into the branches of the tree, I began to notice the glare on the grass as if it was after the rain, as he managed to convey.
“Cool,” I splashed out my emotion in a purely human way, and only now he turned that there was not just a tree standing near him, but me.
“Well, yes,” he replied listlessly, and continued to apply yellow shadows under the bush, “I know you!” - It was not a question, but a fact of approval.
- Of course, - I decided to start a conversation with him, who does not know me, I always flickering on the screen, here and there.
“You are Zhenya’s mother, I study with him, I saw you at school once.”
Zhenya is my son, he is fourteen, and after a week he turns fifteen, next year he finishes school, not that he already finishes school, just as it seems just yesterday he smeared bumps with him, terribly loved to show them and waited for me to smear them, and after ran in the yard and was proud of them as medals. I got acquainted with Max on the same television, after I started a sport, entered the literary department, wanted to write stories, suggested that a new spirit of time is required in the news, so it came in and since then I started to remember everything. , and Zhenya was engaged to my mother, she retired like a domestic cat that she was taken out into the street and put on the road, she clung to the ground and froze with horror that she was now doing this pension and only the birth of Zhenya saved her from imminent depression .
- And I ... - and I don’t remember him, was something only a few times at school, and even to take Zheng away from his lessons, he’s all with me, he runs races, sports is everything for him, so he goes three times a year I have to go to the director to ask for the competition, that they would let him go, - you can, - she asked him to sit next to me.
“Yes, no problem,” he replied calmly.
“You are amazing.”
- Honestly? - He asked and looked into my eyes.
- Yes, - and for something she nodded her head, as if giving more importance to the statement.
“This is good,” he muttered, “when someone likes it, it's nice, then it’s not for nothing.”
- Have you been drawing for a long time? - sometimes I do not like my stupid questions, because it’s so clear that for a long time and that he has given himself to this art, it’s enough to look at his fingers.
“No, about eight years,” he said so, as if he lives forever, and means nothing to him for ten or fifty years, “I will enroll in a school, and if I study, I’m going to college, this year I have protection, three weeks left.
- You will succeed, definitely.
“I know,” he answered just as calmly, without interrupting the drawing.
- It's good that I am confident in myself.
- Yes, you just have to fill your hand with a portrait, and since I have almost everything ready - and he fell silent, as if he forgot about me.
“Well, okay,” it became awkward to take him away from work, “I wish you good luck.”
“Thank you,” he said in the same way, without taking his eyes off the drawing, “if you have time, come.”
- Where?
- I have a workshop ...
- Workshop? - I was surprised.
- Well, she is not mine, she is Sandwina, maybe you heard.
- Of course I heard, - I went to his exhibitions, I don’t really understand his work a lot of darkness, his paintings, shadows and glare are too heavy, even if he has a drawing of the day, then he is as heavy as through sunglasses.
- He often leaves, and I follow his colors and draw in his workshop, near the Vostok hotel, in the center.
- Yes, I know, - once I was in one of such a studio, I ran to photograph sculptures, I don’t even remember the artist, the woman was not on the ninth floor, there was also a studio at the first store.
- Right, come, I work there every day after three, the door is green.
“Well, I will try,” although she knew that I was not going to go anywhere, I already had little time, but for some reason I promised.
However, each time I drove past this house, I remembered the young man, and I didn’t ask what his name was, maybe ask Eugene, although it’s not worth it and yet I remembered his amazing picture, some kind of very unusual, literally airy truly fabulous, everything seems to be as usual, houses and paths, trees and sky, but everything is wrong, really fabulous, that was probably what pushed me to meet him again, but what to say, he’s good for me and sons in art, I do not really understand, amateur. And yet, in order to discard any doubts and unnecessary thoughts, I deliberately arrived at this house at three o'clock, climbed onto a creaky, terribly close elevator, as they do here, even though they are raising something, the same close stairways you won’t raise it, I thought, going up to the green door, and she was the only one so wonderful.
I called several times, silence, waited a minute and then called again, at last the door began to rustle behind the door and the lock squeaked, and it opened. The young man’s face was wrinkled, his hair as a ruff was sticking out in all directions, as if he were climbing a pipe to the place of the brush.
“Hello,” she told him in a friendly way, she wanted to be really indignant, saying that they did not make the lady wait so long.
“Sorry, I watered the flowers there,” and he waved his hand somewhere behind his back.
- Can? - Without waiting for an invitation I asked.
“Yes, yes, come through, I'm here now,” and taking a few steps almost knocked down the boards in the corner.
The smell of paint, how long ago it was, I remembered it for the rest of my life, once in St. Petersburg I was already in a similar workshop, they are not much different, before they were provided to those who entered the union of artists, and after who could buy squares, but they looked they are all the same, a room with junk, blanks, depending on who did what, wood, clay, paintings or metal, the room where everything was going on, it’s also an exhibition room and if the area allowed it is a rest room, because almost all the artists live here , well, another kitchen and bathroom, that would wash hands.
I remembered this smell, he seemed to have ingrained in my subconscious, there I was in St. Petersburg for refresher courses, I traveled a lot and I got carried away by one artist, I don’t even know why, so romantic, Peter, alone, nights and homesickness, or rather by sex. Then I was already married and gave birth to a son, he was three years old, Max was always on business trips, received the post director of weekend broadcasts, and since the restructuring, everyone was looking for something new, something different from a building, so they roared with the operator and a correspondent in all cities and towns of the Tyumen region. I love him, but somehow at work everything began to erase, it became commonplace, you no longer feel the taste of food, you don’t honor the warmth of the sun, you just run and run, and here in St. Petersburg it fell into place, and he also. Handsome, like in a movie, a beard, a torn scarf, dirty hands from colors and forever said not like that, and that is what stuck to it. And it was in his workshop that I cheated on my husband for the first time, but I didn’t want to, I just got giddy, I wanted affection, tenderness, calmness and satisfaction from sex, but none of this turned out to be, except that sex was, but he was so strange, that I don't even remember anything, the feeling that I went into the bathroom and came out a minute later without feeling a surge of strength from the water.
It was a complete disappointment. There were several opportunities on the side, but refused, afraid that everything would happen again. If a woman says that she never had anything on the side, then most often she is cunning or was not possible, the case, but when he is, both the woman and the man try not to miss it. Ah, I regretted it later, I just don’t know what, about the fact that I didn’t dare or because I was just not active, strangely enough it’s as difficult for a woman to find a partner on the side, like a man, we all have We’re not ready for everyone’s stereotypes in our consciousness, we’re looking for our ideal, well, almost ideal, but after a doubt, but in a friend it will come out, that is, fear for ourselves, for family, no matter how home it is. But if everything develops as if by cards, then doubts go away and become temporarily free from obligations, the harm would be just a one-time flirtation, a one-time second, without obligations and consequences, but you let off steam that has accumulated in you, emotions, satisfy hunger of feelings and you again live an ordinary life, like everything, as always.
The smell of paint, I stood in the hallway and breathed it, it was nice to remember, long ago it was, a long time ago, all that was bad was forgotten, only the smell remained unchanged. The young man emerged from the bathroom, in a hurry, combed his hair, tried to smooth his hair and everything fussed around me, inviting me to enter the workshop. Yes, all the same dark pictures, but among them were bright, like a ray of light, they were his.
“By the way, Galina,” finally decided to introduce herself and extended a hand to him and immediately added, “Nikolaevna.”
- Leshka, - he immediately reported and shook hands, - maybe tea?
- It seems you wanted to draw?
“Yes ... yes ..." he said stammered and quickly jumped out of the room, "I am now, settle down."
- And who do you want to be? - after him asked him, the answer was not followed, only the noise behind the wall.
“I am ready,” Lesha appeared at the door, holding in his hand a large piece of paper attached to it, “I want to arrange the books,” he suddenly returned to the question.
- Books? - I was a little surprised, I imagined the artist is the person who draws pictures.
“Well, yes, now the illustrations in books are lousy, oh,” he said, “sorry, bad ones.”
- Why? - and sat in a chair, standing in the middle of the room, probably specifically for the model.
“And ... here ..." he began to stutter again, put down his cardboard and took the book from the shelf, - these are the poems of Omar Khayyam "How wonderful is the lovely face."
I took from his hands a weighty book and immediately turned my attention to the first cover, on it in the graphic there are two figures of an old man in a turban and a young maid that she would lie naked in front of him. I started flipping, almost every drawing was with a naked girl, but it all looked so romantic, so light and calm, I gladly began to look at the drawings and even read the poems themselves, but more I was attracted by the drawings themselves. Chest, thighs, oval face, languid look and plump lips, gentle, sexy, beautiful pictures.
- And ... here is another book, the same verses, but the pictures look at them.
She picked up a book and expected to see something more romantic, but she saw the chopped bodies in the place of it as if they were hewn out of raw clay, it was just awful.
- Now you understand what the difference is, he, - Alex meant the artist, - didn’t even read the text, so he drew nonsense.
I listened to his reasoning and occasionally inserted words; I usually speak my professional habit first, but now I listened to his reasoning and I liked them. I sat in the chair, but he drew me, I don’t know how it works there, curiosity was torn apart, but I sat and waited patiently, but he talked all about energy, about the state of the soul, for which a person lives, that the main thing is love and joy from the simple that surrounds us and this says the boy, who did little else in his life, but spoke as if he had lived more than one life. Surprised him and continued to listen.
Finally, he finished and said that it was only a sketch, so that I would not judge him harshly, it seems he was even embarrassed to show me because he remained seated, in other matters it was embarrassed. I walked over and looked at his shoulder. Not a white paper, a woman was drawn in charcoal, I immediately recognized myself in it, my shoulder was pulled up, as if I was covering myself from splashing water, my chin was lowered, I want to hide my nose and not wet it, but my back is bare and my naked nipple looks out of my hand, he so brazenly stuck on this figure, that unwittingly felt like blushing.
The first desire to rebel, but I'm not a girl, he surprised me again, he was younger than me and twenty-two years old, but how he feels the body, in my son I didn’t notice anything like that, it all seems to me that he is a boy, a boy, but Lesha, he is different, he feels not only the mood of a person, but also his character. I was in the picture, but I was about ten years less than now, I was erotic, my chest was turned upwards like a girl's, but now my chest became oval and eventually fell a little, time told its own, the body began to change, how would I I did not try to look like a girl, young, the years had already begun to talk about her and wrinkles, and the same breast was not the same.
“Beautiful, gentle,” I admitted, probably to myself, than to him.
- True? He asked timidly.
- Yes, - I confirmed, and motherly, patted his head.
I left in embarrassment, as he could see me so, considered myself proud even arrogant, but not timid, always keep my head straight and looking forward, and here everything is different, that's all. I went and thought about drawing, although it was there, but I was also embarrassed by the fact that he painted me half-naked, a complete stranger, a boy, still a boy, but the man’s gaze, in my soul, feels like I posed for him in reality in the nude . It was necessary to come to such an idea that something creaked in his chest, like an unwetted cart, turning the wheels with difficulty, creaking and slowly, reluctantly moving off. I pressed my palm to my chest, it ached, it ached, so long ago I did not feel such a feeling, embarrassment, and from somewhere a shame appeared.
After I went to see him a few more times, so simply, he treated me to tea, he himself collected herbs, fine tea, but the main thing in his workshop was calm, as if time stopped. He constantly played the recording, it seemed endless, they sang forest birds, at first she annoyed me, but it became interesting to listen, and then I could not imagine this workshop without birds. Now Lesch said little, focused, drew something, I did not ask that, I just sat and rested with him and I was very sad that sooner or later the owner would come and I would stop coming here, and in other matters, I do as a girl come to him on a silent date. I felt funny from these thoughts, but this is exactly how I come, but despite everything I looked at him and even admired, it's amazing how I could do this, sit and admire the boy, and he would be beautiful, would fall in love if she was a girl .
Every time I came to the house, I was tickled in my chest, I was ashamed that I was going upstairs and I was ringing the door, but I could not do otherwise, I wanted to stay there a little more, and all that picture where he was in my head without asking me drew so frankly. In the end, I could not stand it and asked.
- Do you have a model? - in her voice felt the breakdown.
- No, what are you from where it is expensive, a portrait painted, so maybe next year if I enter, it will work out.
I was silent and looked at him as he puffed on a stylus with a pencil on a sheet, he then smiled, but frowned about what he thinks when he draws, comes up with his stories to revive his fantasies, and then he spoke again.
“Once I suggested to Ole, we study together, she considered me bziknutyu, hardly smacked in the neck,” then he sniffed and smiled to himself, it seems she still slapped him.
- And do you want ... - I stopped, not knowing whether to continue and still continued, - if you want, I can pose a little to you as a model.
“Yes? ...” he asked in surprise, disbelieving his ears.
“Yes,” I said affirmatively, “and everything gnashed in my chest, someone’s claws dug into his chest.”
“It's great,” he said only, his eyes clapped, and his fingers didn’t know where to put the pencil, it became ridiculous to me, “yes, you need to practice your hand, because you said so.”
“Yes,” he said in a singing voice, “I am now,” he quickly jumped off and ran out, and after a minute returned with a new sheet and sat down, “I am ready,” he reported.
“Eh ...” I didn’t expect such a turn, I thought to talk, although I thought that I had said nothing at all, it was a minute when I relaxed, had a dream and melted in my dreams, I was just a fool, but it was silly to unlock it, take it to later, but after, but no, everything in my chest ached, it ached, I wanted admiration, an enthusiastic look, but also, I don’t know, I couldn’t admit to myself, I just wanted attention if not the man, but the boy, surprisingly, but I yearned for it feeling in the chest, and she was so aching - right now? - I asked a little scared.
“I am ready,” he repeated, and began to fasten a sheet of paper to the tablet.
It was hard, as if I had a heavy backpack on my shoulders, I got up from the chair and trying to keep myself more straight out of the pavilion. The head was buzzing, but the thoughts danced like a pinpong ball jumped from side to side and not a single idea, not a single decision. I went into the next room where the sofa was and now what? She twisted her head, he was waiting there, but I’m an adult woman, his classmate’s mother, a journalist, I have a reputation, I’m known, and I can’t like that, stupid, just stupid, but why did I say so, to play around, so that here stand and whine at herself. I was ashamed of my words, and even more so for actions, I shouldn’t have done so and shouldn’t have to go here at all, what would they think if anyone found out, that’s what it was.
I looked at the walls, I had seen them before, but somehow I didn’t attach any importance, there were masks on the walls, there were a dozen of them, there were carnival, big ones with horns, and they were New Year's for person X, there were Venetian with bells, and just with feathers, I took one of them and looked at it. Big eyes, a golden nose, a small pattern turns into a rainbow color at the edges, and in the middle like a princess, a large purple feather. Not such, but simpler, I bought my dad for the new year, we circled around the Christmas tree and sang songs, and then told stories and made wishes and it seemed to me that no one would recognize me, it is only I see them as they are, although mom and Dad was wearing masks. Wore a mask and went to the mirror, the memories are so warm and mysterious, and why not, I suddenly thought, looking at my reflection in the mask, because the main thing is incognito, and the body it is the body. Having made such a simple and at the same time logical decision, it became easy for me, I quickly took off all my clothes, a boy sat behind the wall, who at first saw a naked woman, and I again hesitated, but not to stand and not to tremble with fear I quickly went out into the corridor and headed to the hall.
It was not clever to go, I didn’t even go home naked, my husband became big, not by his position, but he became just big, his belly bulges, his face was round, he became not sleepy, shapeless, and the son, he is already big, understands everything, therefore An empty corridor in a strange house, naked, was hard, walked awkwardly like a duck, even ridiculous, straightened her shoulders, her breasts tightened, oh God, I thought, and entered the hall.
Silence, it would be better if he was silent, I proudly walked slowly, felt the face turn red, the boy the age of my son carefully looked at me, I was really ashamed of my naked body if the old man who knew in his life looked at me and young and shaky old age or a man of my age, who, like a male, read my body and understands who I am, I would not be so uncomfortable, but this is a boy, still very young, probably I’m doing something wrong, how I stupidly and recklessly acted, all I thought for now was slowly I went to the studio.
“You are beautiful,” Alex said suddenly to chant.
“Thank you,” his words melted my body, my hands began to move more freely, now I was not so afraid for my chest, which was waving slightly in my gait.
“It was great to come up with a mask, cool,” he said admiringly.
And then I caught myself and quickly asked him.
“Only between us,” I said affirmatively.
“Yes ... of course ..." he stammered, "I ask," and pointed to a chair, but I already wanted to sit back in the chair.
Everything happened so quickly, I honestly didn’t have time to think anything, just for some reason, something made me want to do this, something played, silly, naively played in the soul, toli memories of my youth, but even then I didn’t do that, was chaste, watched my actions and didn’t take liberties on the part of the guys, but what has changed now? I sat on the bar stool, not very comfortable, I automatically covered my chest, but this was even more disgusting, what a stupidity, I just kept saying to myself, I have nothing to do, looking for adventures on my own, ... jumping, who will find out, son, acquaintances. I was sitting and tormented by these questions, but he had already settled down and began to make sketches, it is more convenient for him to sit, and within a minute my back sank, I lowered my hand, slowly, I decided, I'm not a girl, I am a mother and an adult, serious woman, not I got stuck with it, if she decided, let her draw.
So I sat for a few minutes, it became completely out of place to sit, as if an hour had passed, time was stretching, and the arrow literally froze in place, my back became completely numb, but after some time I got used to it, straightened my shoulders, my chest in front, she is beautiful with me smooth, feminine, would say that even velvety and very sensitive, it costs me something sexy to think about how the nipples immediately pick up thoughts and begin to darken, now they were like roasted chestnut, dark brown and covered with thick, thick wrinkles, for the attack, because I have nothing to do with ychas and do not think, just to hurry he finished, may ask or still wait. I looked at the young artist, he drew so enthusiastically, occasionally looked in my direction, where I don’t know exactly, the look was fast, lightning-fast and immediately returned to the sheet of paper.
And he is nothing, a handsome fellow, an upturned nose, thin fingers, an elongated face and shaggy eyebrows, the same as his hair, all stick out in different directions, and his eyes, which eyes like a puppy, are so languid, faithful, just sincere . Oh, God, what I just think is stupid, because he is good for me as a sons, so there is an infection from idleness that just doesn’t get into my head. And yet he is pleasant to me to sit, there is no longer any fear or reproach, only uncertainty in the drawings, in their subsequent history, and in other matters, what I care about, my face is not visible, I am in a mask, and the body, well You never know who it may be. Mask, from this word I felt very good, I seemed to be here and at the same time not, as if I was standing outside the window with a one-sided look, I see everyone, and the audience is only reflected and here I was smiling how healthy, how fun that she decided to pose, it is interesting to see what happens, and in her chest she aches and aches.
After about thirty minutes, he finished, timidly said that you can stand up, creaking like an old woman, I straightened my back, everything seemed to creak and ache, gently slid off the chair, raised her shoulders, jerked her leg, goosebumps in the heel, still served my leg, but it passed quickly . I walked over to him and looked behind my back. Charming picture. This was my first thought, he drew me in a mask, coal, black outlines, shoulders lowered, hands like creepers along the body, the figure looked disproportionately long, but it gave her the character of fatigue, I felt a weakened body, a lowered look and this black pubis, it was literally on the target in the center of the sheet and whether you like it or not, but you look at it as if it is the main element of the drawing, it rumbled in my stomach and I felt how everything in my chest began to shrink slowly and my groin became hot. I took a step back, as if pulling away, so that he would not see what I feel, it is amazing how sensual it looks, a few strokes of coal, and how many emotions, moods. I took a few more steps back, my fingers touched the pubic hair, the curly tuft he was so brazenly sticking out in front and glowing on my white skin. I did not think it was so sexy. Quickly turned around and left the workshop.
My old, almost forgotten feeling, the desire to be loved, not just a woman, ached in my chest, and what would you admire, admire, what would men be timid at your sight, whisper to each other and think all nonsense of who I am, what my name is doing here, and if I can, yes I can, I can do a lot. Smiling went into the next room, took off her mask and looked in the mirror, it was old, silver cracked, but it reflected the beautiful body of a woman, now no one looked at me and the palm lay on her pubis, and her fingers slowly began to touch sticking hairs, they touched sponges, what they are hot, pressed a finger, hot and wet. I pulled off my hand as if I had touched something forbidden, a stranger, squinted my eyes and looked at the opening in the doorway. Alex did not even get up from the chair, I did not listen to his fuss, took a few sighs and plucked up the courage of my fingers again slipped through the hairs and went deep below between the treacherous sponges. They literally oozed out, they were not just wet, wet, they were ready, everything ached in my chest, I silently whined, bit my lip, closed my eyes and gained strength and removed my fingers.
Thanking him, I left, I wanted, I wanted, something like that, such that I would sing and jump for joy, but I could not believe myself that I was still capable of such thoughts, that everything had not yet died out in me, and Once it was usual for me, but time erases like an eraser and here again this feeling, these desires and this boy awakened in me. I was really ashamed when I came home after seeing my son, it already seemed to me that he knows where I was and what I did, but no, as usual, he kissed me on the cheek, he and I have this habit since childhood and I appreciate her, he did not know anything, everything remained secret, and why am I so worried, because I am there in a mask, behind a screen, behind the very mirror that saves me and Lesch promised, and for some reason I believe him.
Time changes the body, I was angry with myself, I was very angry, I couldn’t forget how I posed, what I felt, was embarrassing for my aging body, I wanted youth, vigor in muscles, so that my stomach would tighten again and could sit on the splits, do the bridge and spinning on the uneven bars, something I can, but something is lost irretrievably. I looked in the bathroom in the mirror, there was no one at home, uncertainly walked around the apartment naked, very unusual and chilly, and this is despite the fact that it is June and summer on the street. As a ritual, after the very birth of a child, they wrap him up, give him clothes, and he wears it until the end of his days, he is afraid to take it off, even at night and back in his pajamas, under a blanket, the body overheats, builds up layers of fat, the organs start to work incorrectly and go - It went, and the reason was not the climate itself, that it was cold, but the moral that the parents instilled in us from childhood, and their parents, and their religion. I like my body, it is young, I think this is my temple, I take care of it and I am glad in my soul when they are admired, they look with mild envy, and the men squint and send meaningful signs. Yes, it is nice, but in recent days I have been thinking about that studio and about the young artist, and no matter how I resisted, did not persuade myself not to go there anymore, I nevertheless gathered and came.
She went on a date, worried, in the morning there was a report from the governor, so she dressed in a pompous, light blue suit, waistcoat and snow-white blouse with mother-of-pearl buttons, a skirt just below the knees and a silver bracelet, Max gave it to me last year. More filming was not planned, and I left the studio on foot, I wanted to go and think again, but the more I thought, the greater the confidence that I had to come, during what time I came and I went to him, to the young artist, just listen to the birds singing.
He, as always, did not immediately open and was clearly surprised by my arrival, he probably thought that I had all fled away and would not appear again. Lyosha was obviously embarrassed, was a little confused, then offered tea, then ran away to the workshop, then again was silent and fiddling with the collar of his shirt, he was so funny, cute, shy and honest, I probably liked it in him, in thirty minutes I he managed to break the wall in him, he got into conversation and began to pop about all kinds of things, then about the energy of the cells, that the cells have their frequency and if it gets lost it just happens to destroy them, then he said about salt, that if its heart suffers a lot and many more than.
- We will work today? - I asked him - “I'm ready,” she added immediately.
“Yes? ...” he answered somehow uncertainly, toli asked if we toli approved that we would work.
“Well, I went,” she told him and left the kitchen.
- Where? He asked, confused.
“Undress what else,” she said without turning around, and at the very soul the birds sang.
This time I quickly and gently took off my clothes, I have one such suit, put a blouse on top, was afraid to get dirty, there was so much dust around, melting under my skirt, and then I began to choose my mask, I wanted an unusual one, but the choice still came to nor to eat a simple mask, she did not interfere and covered, only that she could cover, except that she simply distracted attention from her face. Wearing it, went to the mirror, again it became awkward and even scary, today I didn’t have that black gun that covered my pubis and added additional imaginary protection, I deliberately shaved it off last night, Max did not notice this amazing change. The mirror reflected a young woman, playful eyes, a smile on her face, a shy pose that covered her snow-white pubis with her palm, she winked at herself and went out into the corridor.
I entered proudly and calmly, my chest ached, but I didn’t cover her, I just casually looked at her, her nipples bulged out and were almost black, at first I turned my back to him, as if looking at where to sit, and then slowly turned towards him. The face began to blush, his and mine, a wave ran down my back as if they were being held by a hand, I slightly started, my chest swayed calmly. For a moment I was speechless, I wanted to get the time off, but I could not, I felt his eyes literally jump over my body, I could feel him even if I closed my eyes, I had a material look, and I was convinced of that now.
“I can stand,” I finally managed to pronounce these simple words with difficulty.
“Yes ...” Lyosha replied with a hint and reached for coal.
I did not turn away, on the contrary I wanted to stand so that my nudity was the most outspoken, the most feminine, erotic, defiant, provocative. He set to work, I looked at him and admired his hands, how he deftly held his fingers, admired his chin, on which the stubble had just appeared, I admired his thin shoulders, legs, he was barefoot, and I smiled when I noticed that. What he thought, I don’t even know, it became easier to breathe, calmed down a little and was no longer so embarrassed about her naked pubis, for a woman of my age, it probably doesn’t fit, although, what fits in general, pose for a young man and still drags that generally can suit me? Oh. I sighed deeply, my nipples would shrink, literally dissolve, then shrink again, they would mock at the blast furnace, but it was interesting to watch them and I was distracted. Now I heard birds singing from the speaker, soon we can only listen to them, there are almost no trees left in big cities, and if there are birds, then only sparrows and stupid pigeons.
Minutes slowly flowed, the models are really hard to work, you have to stand and not move, keeping the original posture of the body, and it is very difficult, at least from habit. Alex worked hard, it seems he stopped worrying and now he was completely immersed in work, he wanted to draw more quickly, his hands flashed, but I didn’t calm down, my chest felt new, my throat and terrible desire to move.
- Can I knead the legs? - I asked him from the desks.
“Yes, of course,” he quickly replied, and again timidly squinted at the pubis.
I wanted to smile at him, but something held back, I was frightened by the difference in age, although I was still the same girl in my soul, but age, that's a strange thing, only numbers, but mean so much. Restraining herself and making a proud, almost arrogant look, let her not think that if the mother of his classmate poses for him, then everything is permitted, no, he is a boy and nothing more. She turned her back to him, it was hard to stand and feel this look, it became easier, but not for long, got her knees on the chair and purposely bent over in front, not just to relax the body, and that he could still admire the feminine hidden from prying eyes Let him know a little of the secrets of the female body. I don’t know who gave it more pleasure to him or me, but I was not in a hurry to straighten up, but on the contrary, I bent a little in my back, stopped for a moment and looked back. He quickly looked down.
- Do not be afraid to look, I'm a model, - I said calmly, and then added, - and I am pleased.
- Yes? - somehow he mumbled in surprise.
“Yes,” I confirmed, and he looked up, “the woman likes it when she is examined, and I am no exception.” With these words I straightened up turned to face him, his look fell again.
- You are beautiful, - muttered Lesch.
“Tell me again, be it,” she asked.
“You are beautiful,” he repeated, I raised my eyebrows, making it clear what else you can say, “sexy,” and looked down again.
I would turn away from these words myself, the boy looked at me not just as a model or as a woman’s body, he saw in me sexuality, and therefore passion, it means inner desire, it means he is not such a boy if he found the strength in himself and the courage to say so openly.
- Thank you, - I thanked him, these words were dear to me.
I approached him and patted him on the head, I wanted him not to be afraid of me, so that he would lead more freely not as a frozen seal, but as a friend, he smiled. And then the doorbell rang. From horror, I screamed, as if someone had already rushed in and caught me with a boy, I was gripped by horror, and I could not move, now I understand that sometimes happens to people, at the most crucial moment they just lose control of themselves and rush about by making one mistake after another.
- This is probably Oleg Grigorievich arrived.
- Who? Almost in hysterics, I asked him.
“Sandwina, this is his workshop,” he got up and went to the door to open it, “do not be afraid, he is his man.”
“Wait,” she cried to him and ran into the next room.
A few seconds later the bolt clicked, and someone entered the corridor, the voice was calm, confident. I had no time to listen in this room there was no door, there were no doors here at all, it is strange that she was still in the toilet. Twitching, I pulled the skirt over myself, until I was up to swimming trunks, I quickly grabbed my blouse, there was no time to put on my bra, I was just afraid that the owner would enter now, without having to fasten it over my jacket, and afterwards became tangled with my fingers her.
“Good afternoon,” she suddenly heard behind her.
“Hello,” I said, barely breathing.
He was not as old as I imagined him, and I don’t know what he looks like, only heard his name and that's all. He entered the room in a businesslike manner, Alex, confused, stood in the doorway.
- There is a bag, take it away, - Alex immediately went out.
I could hardly breathe and tried to finish buttoning my blouse.
- yours? - He asked me pointing to the abandoned bra and swimming trunks.
“Yes,” I said, holding back the trembling in my voice, and quickly grabbed them.
- Who are you?
- Galina, - there was no sense to lie, - I posed for Lesha.
“Ah ...” he stretched out and walked past me, not forgetting to slap me on the ass, I felt her shaking, insolent, indignant to herself, but it was his free movement that relieved all the tension at once.
He went out, and I finally fastened the blouse, in my hands I squeezed the remnants of underwear, but I did not dare to put on the bottoms, but just stuffed it all in my purse and went to the door.
“Beautiful,” I suddenly heard his voice from the workshop.
Shyly, I looked behind the joint, he stood and considered only that the drawn picture, Lesha stood beside him, hanging his head.
- Well done, very good, sloppy, but well done.
“I'll go,” I said carefully.
- Where? - looking up from the picture he asked.
“I won’t interfere,” I said, looking for a reason.
- Hurry up?
“No,” I replied honestly for some reason.
- Lesh.
“Yes,” he replied.
- Run to the store to buy tea, remember those cherry pie cakes?
“Yes,” he said affirmatively.
- Buy them, three pieces, and still coffee, I know that you don’t have it, that’s the money - and handed the bill, Alex took it and after a moment jumped out of the workshop.
He would do harm, not so terrible as it seemed to me initially, and in general he’s probably an artist painted models hundreds of times and this is not new to him, and why I’m afraid of him is foolish, but my heart didn’t calm down, everything pounded and pounded. He went to the kitchen, the dishes were rattling, to go after him or wait, there is no need to help, put the kettle and rinse the cups. He removed everything from the table, wiped it with a wet towel, then wiped it, the table was old, on thick legs, it is difficult to move it even from its place, I love such strong furniture. I took a teapot, a spoon and poured some tea leaves, Lesha said, to feel the aroma, you need to pour a little, otherwise the taste and aroma will disappear, I did so.
He stood behind his back, felt a curious glance, or was it my paranoia, closed the teapot and waited for the kettle to boil.
- Come here - and took it out of my hands.
Pierced me. As if shocked, the whole body shuddered and chest shrank. When you were told that you can transfer energy and emotions with a touch, that's exactly what I experienced, emotions, they were so strong, probably, only strong and self-confident people have such feelings and always follow them, they just believe in them idea and go. My knees crunched, he sat down, and immediately with his fingers, as if he did this, he repeatedly unbuttoned my skirt and with a quick movement, I did not even have time to realize how the skirt was already on the floor.
“Raise your leg, or you will remember,” he said abruptly.
As if under hypnosis, I stepped over the edge of the skirt, he straightened up and gently put her on a chair, a feeling of gratitude that I did not give up, but the fact that I stood towards him with my bare backside didn’t excite me for some reason. Again, I remembered the smell of paint, as it had long since been in the studio for the first time I had changed my husband, now my heart sang, everything was different, but I only know him for a few minutes. Turned to him. I was embarrassed to look into my eyes, but that's why, as if she was guilty in front of him, and he took me by the hips and like a powder, I just picked it up, picked it up and sat on the table. In the groin ached, so deeply, so much that involuntarily squeezed the legs together, sometimes you do it when you hit your elbow, press it to your palm as much as possible and the pain goes away, and now you have squeezed your legs to pain in the joints.
He did not move away anywhere, but slowly, as if on purpose, unbuttoned his jeans, I looked at his hands as he lowered the zipper, as he pulled them off with his swimming trunks and slowly as a member, as a boa raised his head up and stuck into my knee. I perfectly understood what was going on, and I didn’t want to run anywhere, I was a strong and sexy woman.
- And Lesha? - I asked timidly, did not want him to see me like that, as if I were betraying him, as if I were cheating on him, and not on my husband.
“Thirty minutes will come,” he answered briefly.
Thirty minutes, as long as thirty minutes, a lot or a little, it all depends on the time it turns towards me, I slowly fell on my back, my chest rolled under my blouse, my uplifted nipples stood out even under my jacket, threw back my head and looked at the ceiling. I lay as a sacrifice, as a symbol of tribute, as doomed and the ritual will now begin, and I am only a part of it, only a silent body that will silently surrender to its whim.
He put his hands on his knees, at first I wanted to squeeze them, but she spread her legs apart, time went on, second by second. Everything ached, literally ached, spasms emanated from within, probably, volcanic eruptions so mature, at first everything is quiet, but the pressure grows and with every hour, minute, second it grows and at one moment, nothing can stop this force the womb of the mother earth thrusts its fiery slush high into the heavens, which evaporates, poisons itself around itself, burns and absorbs everything that it touches. Slapped on the bare, unprotected pubis, I screamed not from pain, but by surprise, and he again slapped me again and again, I howled from incomprehensible pleasure, I wanted more and more, and he again slapped his palm on the delicate skin, and I whined from pleasure.
I felt ashamed that I was behaving this way, my body and mind were divided, I reproached myself with my thoughts, but my body squirmed and wanted to continue. I did not have time to come to my senses, his dick stuck his head in my lips and immediately began to slide, like a stone thrown into the water, without meeting any resistance plunges deeper and deeper until it touches the bottom, and his dick just slid, easily and freely, plunging into the depths of my body, he rested, reached the bottom. The body trembled, and he stopped.
This annoying smell of paint, why I feel it again, because when Lyosha painted me, I forgot about it, only birds singing, and now I heard cars driving along the street, a traffic light beeping. The romance disappeared, everything instantly faded, evaporated, I expected a lot, thought that it was here, but nothing, he just fucked me and everything, the body was shaking, bouncing on the table, I didn’t want to even think about who I was in this The moment that is happening here, I just knew that I once again changed my husband and did not receive anything in return, only emptiness, disappointment and this annoying smell of paint.
He finished as quickly as he started, as if he was afraid not to have time, his cock slipped out, old, stagnant, even then I felt her heavy smell, sperm flowed onto my stomach, I quickly pulled up my blouse and jacket, was afraid to get it dirty. He finished his ritual and put it to the side, I felt how my lips were numb, they didn’t close up and put that deep hollow in me that he did in me. Pain in the soul, despair, I even wanted to cry, I was ready for everything, literally for everything, but I wanted to get at least something in return, I took a risk and put everything on the line and lost.
She got up, went to the bath, he didn’t say anything to me, was fiddling with tea, put on her skirt, straightened her blouse and jacket, didn’t wear her bra and melt, she was empty in her soul, but decided not to serve.
- Tepe liked it? - he suddenly asked me.
“Oh, yes,” she lied to him frankly.
A minute later, Lesha came, we calmly drank tea, the pungent smell of instant coffee, irritated me just like the smell of his sperm, I involuntarily wrinkled, took the cup and went to the workshop. They sat for about ten minutes, and then he went out.
“Well, okay, son, I went,” he said to Lesha and began to dress.
A son! It seemed to blow me up, I jumped up and turned away, I didn’t even want to think what I had done at all, that I had spoiled it, and in my thoughts it was a question. How could I how? Spoiled everything! There were tears in my eyes, I wanted to bury myself in a pillow and sob, to cry out like a woman in despair, sometimes it helps, but I could not, I am a strong woman, and when he told me so far, I smiled at him and waved my fingers, saying , until. The door slammed shut and there was silence, and again I heard the birds singing and again it became calm, as if indeed there was no time. Lesha went to the workshop carrying a cake and a teapot.
- Yes, I'm sorry I didn’t say right away, we rarely see each other.
- How?
- Mom divorced a long time ago, but he sometimes comes in, brought paper, it ended with me.
“M ...” I grumbled meaningfully.
- He is so nothing, sometimes it is true, but I am not angry, but in general he is good, he complained that he was gone.
Yes, and I'm not angry anymore, what do I care about him, he is past, and you should not even think about him, although it is disgusting at heart not because of him, but because of himself. I could not put my tail pressed, it was not in my character, I am not a coward and will not allow someone to deprive me of my romantic feelings.
- Let's continue! - I said confidently and went into the room to undress.
I have not changed, everything is just as beautiful, lovely, tender and sexy, he just stuck his organ in me and no more, he decided that he was taller than me, but he was mistaken. She took off her skirt, stroked her crotch, smooth, velvety skin, even an hour ago she was shy as the girl squeezed, but now she didn’t want him to admire my body, enjoy what she saw, or it could be easier said, just dragged on what she could look at me to a woman, to a friend’s mother, to a correspondent who speaks daily on television, to something that is somehow hidden from prying eyes. However, I have a high opinion of myself. Slapped her palm on the pubis, sighed softly and went out into the corridor. I never took off my jacket, I did not forget to put on a mask, I didn’t take it off the wall, maybe it was for the best. I went into the workshop, put a blanket on the floor, Alex silently watched, sat down, thought for a second, lay down so as not to blunt her jacket, for some reason I thought of him at that moment, stretched my legs and for some reason put my hand under the head, the mechanical reflex, which is more original, but immediately removed, tritely, one hand on the stomach, the other side, one leg bent and pulled aside, immediately felt like a draft that stretched across the floor, touched the pubis. I closed my eyes and plunged into my world of illusions.
Time passed, it cannot go anywhere at all, we came up with the idea that time is passing, only events change one after another, and on the basis of this we conclude that it is going somewhere. I lay and thought about my own, no, not about a boy that draws me, for some reason I thought about work, about how tomorrow I should shoot a delegation, maybe these thoughts calmed me, distracted me from reality, yes maybe so, maybe I I was afraid to think about the young artist, about what he sees and what I did. I just lay there, my breathing was slow and calm, but my nipples continued to stick around and stick out even under my jacket. As time went.